If you keep attracting the wrong partners, here are 6 potential reasons why!
Reason 1 You Attract Wrong Partners:
You have a “blinding” desire for marriage.
You know how it’s not a good idea to text while you’re walking? After all, you’re not focused on what’s right smack in front of you – like that woman walking her poodle or that big steel pole.
Similarly, you can become blind to red flags when you’re experiencing a “blinding desire” for finding a relationship.
- Maybe all your friends are getting married.
- Perhaps you feel pressure from your parents or coworkers.
- Or you’ve just found out your ex is all happily coupled up – and you’re now unstoppably determined to cozy up to someone too.
Unfortunately when you have your eyes focused on your “end game,” you can’t be on top of your dating game.
Basically, it’s hard to clearly see the person in front of you, when your eyes are obsessively focused on a wedding finish line.
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Reason 2 You Attract Wrong Partners:
You have an achilles heel.
You know the expression “achilles heel”?
It originates from the Greek mythological hero Achilles – and it’s in reference to a weakness someone has – which can become their ultimate downfall.
Unfortunately many of us have “achilles heels” when it comes to relationships.
They can show up in a variety of ways.
- Want a baby and your biological clock is ticking: “Achilles Uterus”
- Feel vulnerable about money: “Achilles Wallet”
- Insecure about your weight: “Achilles Toosh”
- Obsessing about your age: “Achilles Wrinkles”
Basically, if you’re feeling insecure about an aspect of yourself, this can create self-worth issues.
The lower your self worth, the lower the bar you’ll be setting for finding a partner.
As a result, slimy snaky people – who are the wrong partners for you – can limbo under your low-bar and slip themselves into your heart!
Reason 3 You Attract Wrong Partners:
Your “comfort zone” is a “dis-comfort zone”
If you grew up in a home where love came with anxiety and pain, then you might feel most comfortable with love coming with anxiety and pain.
Basically, your limiting beliefs about love can wind up limiting your happiness.
If you find yourself constantly asking friends, “Is this normal?” then you might be suspect for having a “comfort zone” which double-duties as a “dis-comfort zone.”
Reason 4 You Attract Wrong Partners:
You’re living by the concept: “In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.”
Back when I suffered from “Red Flag Colorblindness,” I was willing to settle for the metaphorical equivalent of a “one-eyed partner”- and not hold out for a “two-eyed partner.”
I kept rationalizing a partner’s bad behavior – because I just thought the metaphorical equivalent of a “one-eyed partner” was the best that was out there.
I’d tell myself things like, “Oh well, at least this guy’s got one eye. These days many guys don’t even have one eye! ”
If you’re super cynical about love, then you can wind up attracting the wrong partners. You will accept the behavior of deeply-deeply-flawed people – because you stopped believing that non-deeply-deeply-flawed people exist.
Reason 5 You Attract Wrong Partners:
You’re too positive.
Too much positivity can get you into love trouble just as much as too much cynicism!
If you’re a very positive person, then when you start to see red flags a-waving you might tell yourself very positive things like…
- “It’s possible to change this quality in this person!”
- “I can make the best of this challenging situation!”
- “I’m strong and can handle this red flag! I won’t let it get to me!”
Reason 6 You Attract Wrong Partners:
Terrible behavior is outside of your “mental framework.”
Basically, you’d never do something as crappy as the Red Flag Bearer is doing.
It’s thereby tough for you to process that someone is capable of doing something so crappy to you.
There’s a famous story that when Columbus first arrived to the new world, the natives could not see his ships, because the natives had never seen a boat before.
It took the natives a long time to process what they were seeing, because the concept of a “boat” was so foreign and surreal to them.
Similarly, there’s a chance you cannot see specific red flags because they’re completely outside of your “mental framework.”
Often people with good hearts just don’t see a bad heart coming.